01.26.07
Where Have The Days Gone?
Assalam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu Â
Most of you have heard about our brother Zuhair, aka NaseehaMan, passing away. http://talk.islamicnetwork.com/showthread.php?t=12647
I guess I feel the pain of this death more than I would otherwise is because he and my sister had so much in common…
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Message to Zuhair’s loved ones:
Ever since I heard this, I have been crying on and off. If any of Zuhair’s loved ones ever read this, I just want to say that I am very sorry for the pain you have to go through. It will always be with you, but life does go on and you will be happy inshaAllaah. Other times, you feel just as sad, if not more, then when he first passed away. Nothing will ever take your pain away, but the thought of Allaah and His Mercy contents me when I think about my sister. Read the Qur’aan, it will take your worries away. Zuhair and his loved ones will be in my du’aas inshaAllaah. May Allaah accept him as a shaheed and reunite him with those he loved in Jannatul Firdaus, ameen.
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His death brought back so many painful reminders. Above all the painful reminders were the memories of my 12-year old sister. I think of the day of her funeral. My family, some relatives, a family friend, and I set out to the funeral home to wash Asma’s body. I hadn’t cried too much that early morning except a couple of times. Then I had to sign the ‘contract’ before washing her body. It set in that her death was final. I tried to steady the pen that was shaking because of my trembling body. I could not sign it, the tears blurred my vision and spilled onto the paper, smudging the other signature (of my mom). I cannot remember if I actually signed the paper. I do remember someone taking the pen from me.
Then I rewind to the moment I found out she passed away. I was waiting outside for somebody to pick me up from school because I had gotten a leaving permit. I was so scared that they would inform me of Asma’s death. I pushed that to the back of my mind and reassured myself that it was a missed dentist appointment. So when my brother finally picked me up, I smiled hesitantly and once I got in, buckled up, my brother told me that Asma passed away. At first it didn’t register. I looked at him, bewildered. Then I screamed his name, twice. Why I did that, I do not know. I barely remember that car ride back home except that it was the longest drive from my school to my house ever.
Then I fast-forward to when the janazah prayers were held. It was in the basement of the masjid. I just remember crying silently, people barely noticing me. [Actually, when we went for Hajj the next year, a woman we bumped into coincidentally said that she remembered Asma. She remembered the day of the funeral, when my three brothers were embracing each other. She did not even notice me, Alhumdulillah.] I almost choked on my gum I forgot I had in my mouth and in that moment I thought - oh no, if I die right now, what will happen to my mom? Oh my heart, my aching heart. I can’t explain how I felt just a few hours ago, crying to myself. It was as if my heart was being pulled away from me. I felt so helpless. Now I just keep shivering for some reason. When I want to cry, I feel myself exhausted and lightheaded so I content myself with just a few tears. I was thinking, I wish I had somebody to hug. I am too shy to go to my parents and cry with them about Asma. I will hug them otherwise, but I want to hug somebody, with them knowing why I am so sad. At the funeral, I had everyone to hug. I had everyone to cry with. Now I have no one for one reason or another. But, “He who has no one has Allaah”….Alhumdulillah ‘ala kulli hal. Forgive me for my rambling, I just needed to get all that out without crying for 5 hours.
echoes said,
January 26, 2007 at 8:22 pm
wa alaikum assalaam wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuh my sweet sister, subhan’Allaah.
May Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala elevate Asma’s station in Jannah, Bless her with every delight of Jannah, expand her grave, and fill it with everything beautiful, May Allaah Bless her with countless joys, ameen.
May Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala Grant you, your beloved parents and family with beautiful sabr, shower you all with His Mercy, and unite you with Asma in Jannat al-Firdaus, where you will never feel any pain, ameen ya Rabb.
Subhan’Allaah, whenever I think of brother Zuhair, all I think of are good things. How his posts were beneficial, or how they always brought a smile to my face, masha’Allaah. I pray that Allaah answers all our du’aas for him. May Allaah Grant him the station of Shaheed, expand his grave, ameen.
May Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala Grant him countless Hoor al-`Ayn, and May Allaah unite him with his family in Jannah, their abode of eternal happiness, ameen Allaahumma ameen.
May Allaah azza wa jall make brother Zuhair’s beneficial posts a form of sadaqah jaariya for him, ameen.
Sometimes I feel extremely sad because we have lost a great brother from amongst us. Allaah tested brother Zuhair rahimak Allaah with so much, and He subhanahu wa ta’ala has prepared a great reward for his suffering inshaa’Allaah. This I am not sad about.
What have I done to deserve Allaahs reward? What sacrifices have I made? What have I prepared for my aakhiraah? This is what really aches the heart.
I wish to meet you salafiya, if not in this duniyah, then in the aakhiraah. Let us prepare for the aakhiraah, so we can be amongst the inhabitants of Jannah, inshaa’Allaah.
*huge hug*
Love you habibtee (L)
wasalaamu alaikum wa Rahmatullaah
Umm Khawla said,
January 29, 2007 at 12:53 am
Sometimes there’s so much you want to say..
I love you salafiyya (((hug)))
mujaahidah said,
February 1, 2007 at 12:47 pm
jazakallahu khayran for your post on my blog….and may Allah SWT reward you and your family for the suffering they went through with Asma…WS
Veiled_muslimah said,
February 3, 2007 at 4:43 am
assalam alaykum,
innil lilahi wa inna ilahi rajioun. I came across your blog and i really liked it Mashallah. I’ve linked you up, i hope it isn’t a problem.
Wa alaykumsalam wrbt
Umm Layth said,
February 3, 2007 at 12:34 pm
wa `alaykum as-Salaam
Sal… watching someone close die a kaafir, really makes you grateful for those who die upon Islaam.
Zuhair was strong and dedicated to his deen. From what I have read about your sister, she was also strong for her age even though she hadn’t yet hit puberty. Zuhair wasn’t just a little weak muslim. Everyone that knew him spoke highly of him and it is because of that, and after what happened this past week with what I told you that I am happy for him. It doesn’t make me tear up dude… it makes me smile. Maybe tears of joy for the brother, but not of sadness. And same with your sister habibtee… tears of joy because you know what… they are in a better place.
The entire part of last week I kept hearing “he is in a better place now” in reference to his step-dad and it hurt wallaahi. It put us into even more tears because we know the reality of someone who dies a kaafir (or even a faasiq but they still have that ray of hope, insha’Allaah). For a Muslim who was striving and constantly remembering Allaah, the aakhirah is the better place. They will receive Mercy and get to get away from all the stuff that makes a mu’min imprisoned.
Zuhair won’t have to deal with his disease anymore. He will not have to worry about people anymore around him. He will insha’Allaah receive the Mercy of Allaah and be at peace in his grave and on. And your sister, well… she was still a child and you know about that : ).
May Allaah guide our families to Islaam, aameen
If you knew how scared I am for my family and how scared my husband is for his… This wasn’t even blood that died and it hurt so bad. Make du`aa’ for our families to accept Islaam one day and that Allaah keeps us strong through whatever He Decides…
Maverick said,
February 4, 2007 at 5:09 pm
Wow I heard about it from someone else and its still hard to accept. Does anyone know how he passed away, in what manner?
Umm Layth said,
February 4, 2007 at 6:32 pm
Bint Rizwan copied a message that Zuhair’s cousin had written:
==Assalamu Alaykum,
I just wanted to ask everyone to please make duaa for Zuhair.
Subhan Allah, although he had been in and out of the hospital so often, this time he was at home and his heart just stopped and he stopped talking in the middle of a word. When they checked the pulse, they found he was gone. I am emailing right now to ask you all to please make the one duaa for Zuhair that he always asked people to make if they asked him. He asked for Allah to grant him the rank and status of a shaheed and to enter him into jannah without any trials or accounting. When I went for hajj, he asked me for this alone, not a single dua for his health.
I keep thinking.. we saw Sonia, Br. Abdallah, and now Zuhair return to Allah. Which one of us will be next? It’s only a matter of time, subhan Allah.
Please spread the word about his duaa and for everyone to come to the janaza.==