03.20.08
Need Advice
Assalam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah
My emaan is a bit low presently. I can feel my heart hardening too. I know it’s due to my sins (of which there are many) and I know what I should do to solve it (repent sincerely & regretfully & make the resolve to never commit those sins again). I tried doing that too. However, there’s something different now.
When I usually repent, I can feel myself getting lighter. My heart and soul feel better. I can almost feel the sins being lifted off of me. SubhanAllaah but now, I feel just the same as before repenting. Ya Allaah, how bad have I become that I can’t make myself fear Allaah enough so that my repentance truly means something to me and has a better chance of being accepted?
Please advise me, what do you do when you fall into this type of rut? I desperately need to get out of it. It’s so amazing that when the emaan is down, life just doesn’t have the same meaning anymore. I need to get back to my normal self at least (even though that’s not good either, but it’s better than where I’m at right now).
I know the basics…listen to the Qur’aan and contemplate on the meaning. I would be doing that right now but I’m currently at my college and I forgot my card at home so I can’t check out headphones. Oh well, I guess I’ll just read the Qur’aan from the computer screen and contemplate it. But what else should I do besides this and increasing the remembrance of Allaah (Alhumdulillah just checked, I remembered to put Husnul Muslim in my bag)?
 I went googling and I found a poem about emaan. This pretty much describes my state right now:
 What happened to those days when my Emaan was strong?
When I wouldn’t dare think of doing anything wrong
When my yaqeen in Allah(swt) would lead me through
The good and bad .. the old and new
What happened to those days when my du’aa was sincere?
When there was absolutely nothing on earth that I would fear
When I was certain that Allah(swt) was really near
And would run to Him and leave all that is dear
What happened to those days when I could read and recite Quraan well?
When I bought al-janna and this dunya I would sell
When my heart was pure and all full of light
When my qiyam was my only source of strength and might
What’s wrong my nafs .. why did you fall?
Don’t you know that Allah(swt) knows and hears your call?
A little test like this one shouldn’t beat you so
It shouldn’t pull you down to a level so low
Don’t you know that Allah(swt) chooses what is best
And that this is all a previously planned test
Don’t you know that He(swt) hears your soul .. He(swt) hears your cry
He(swt) sees you fall… He(swt) sees you sigh
Allah(swt) is Great… Allah(swt) is Al-Hakeem
His ways are just no matter how dark it may seem
Hold on my nafs to the fireball in your palm
Hold on to it and when it burns act calm
Whenever it falls, bend down and restart
Let those tears fall and wipe that heart
Remember my nafs the beauty of the promised firdaus
You know it’s your dream to build there a house
Get back on your feet and go back to those days
I know this only a passing phase ..
Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you both (jinns and men) deny?(55:16)
:) said,
March 25, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Read Qur’an that will do the Job trust me !!!
Sarfaraz Jamal said,
March 26, 2008 at 5:43 pm
(since this is advice) hopefully it works for you, but if I want myself to be increased in eeman by the qur’an - listening to it, or having it done digitially has neer been able to do much for me, but it might just be in my head.
But a physical and tangible copy of the mushaf that you can hold in your hand, and/or the same with the english versus just reading it off of a screen (or hearing it) is many times better for my heart.
So I like to pick up a physical small copy and be alone with it, and it is what works for me, maybe it might work for you, it kinda makes more senses involved in experiencing the quran, etc. -
Just an idea.
Sas
najat said,
March 28, 2008 at 1:31 am
i…love………you…………..
DIE
DIE
DIE
DIE
DIE
najat said,
March 28, 2008 at 1:31 am
my heart………………………………………………………
najat said,
March 28, 2008 at 1:31 am
old woman with cats………………………….
najat said,
March 28, 2008 at 1:32 am
never again never again
najat said,
March 28, 2008 at 1:33 am
0o0o0o0oo00oo0o0oo0o0o0o bismillaah
o…………..m…………………g……………………..
i missssssssssssss thingsssssssssssssss i hate evyonerrrrrrroyoneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
najat said,
March 28, 2008 at 1:33 am
die..die..die
mwahhaha
bwahhahaa
pwahhahaha
najat said,
March 28, 2008 at 1:34 am
my heart just fell out of my bum
salafiya said,
March 30, 2008 at 4:43 pm
: ) & sas, jazakAllaahu khairan for the advice. The Qur’aan truly is the light of the heart. Reading from a tangible copy of the mus-haf IS different, I agree.
Niggety, sorry habibiti, I haven’t checked my hotmail for awhile and when I did, I was notified of 9 messages from muslimpad about comments from you lol. But come online so we can talk, ok you psychopath? Love you…
Assalam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah
:) said,
March 31, 2008 at 4:36 pm
As I told you before.. Read the Quran don’t abandon it , there will always be at least one or two reminders/warnings/sings/advice for you in Allah’s book..
Don’t hang around with bad people even if they are Muslims.., even if they are ‘practising’ Muslims. even if they are super funny and can make you laugh.. even if they are close to you.. stay away from people that don’t benefit you and get close to those who benefit you. (and you know what benefit is dear ! )
I am also speaking about places that don’t benefit you. Don’t listen to useless people dont listen to their words their speech. Their stupidity.. ..Stupid people talk about stupid things that in return may affect your heart and may make your heart inclined towards stupidity. Or if it doesn’t incline it may make that stupidity seem casual and soon agreeable to you.. Instead of that deep hate for stupidity that you started of with.
Pray your prayers properly.
Think before you act/speak.
and stop thinking everybody is soo perfect and you are lost ..have self esteem. be optimistic.. Put your trust in Allah.
(p.s if you have parents obey them esp you mum..)
Allahu Alam..surely.you know yourself well enough and you know better then us what is hindering you from having high eeman.
ana :) said,
April 1, 2008 at 9:32 am
^that is some good advice mA.
To add to that: I always feel better after presenting an Islamic topic to a group of sisters or discussing a topic. Researching followed by explaining just increases my eman sooo much b/c I am able to vocalize my thoughts if that makes any sense
Being in college it is sometimes hard to give time to the deen b/c we end up being so much more busy with this dunya than we were in high school. I think that has something to do with the feeling of a hard heart.
It also reminds me of the hadith that talks about a spot being put on the heart after every sin. So if we don’t repent immediately, it accumulates and it might take longer for us to feel better again. I remember hearing a lecture during one Ramadan where the speaker was talking about having sabr in ‘ibaadah. He was advising everyone to make sincere du’aa to Allah (swt) every single day as much as we could, even if we didn’t feel anything. He said that it might even take some of us until the end of Ramadan to cry in our ad’iyah but to be persistent was key. So chin up, and keep repenting and trying to increase your emaan
I really know how you feel. May Allah (swt) make our hearts responsive to His call ameen.
Dayfa said,
April 16, 2008 at 11:14 am
Do you have fortress of a muslim? Its spreading like wildfire, so alot of people have it and carry it now.. its so small and cute.
but anyways,I was reading trhough it randomly the other day and I came upon “what to do to repent from a sin” something along those lines, so I read it, expecting to see say ‘istaghfirullah’ 100 bajillion times. lol. and repent and never do it again type thing.
but, amazingly, i dont know why i say amazingly, but i guess i forget the little things, it said to pray two rakahs. I was like whoa whoa whoa, take it back now. two rakahs. and for some reason, I was like wow, what most people do is just say istaghfirullah and move on with their lives! myself included..
when was the last time, I did something, an action. Realized whooa, that was not good. and knelt to make two rakahs of repentance. and it makes SO MUCH SENSE, an action for an action. it balances up, unlike an action for a word. right?
its so hard to explain, but in like a flash of a second, a million thoughts and feelings of shame and regret and the SMACK of Reality went through my Mind. and i flashbacked to an image of a righteous muslim-the best of them, a sahabi/sahabiiyya kneeling down and making two rakah in the hot, desert sand.(lol so stereotypical i know) not that i would know how the sahabi looked, but you get the idea. and it just struck me how so very far away from the sahabi, how insincere i can be, something so little and i dont even think about it.
so yeah, reading your post reminded me of my little whatever you call it.
hope it helped somewhat, but make du’a coz that is the best connection between you and Allah, direct, clear cut, nobody can penetrate through it. and believe in Allah that He will help you. Take a step toward Him, and He will run to you, just imagine that.
and I have some notes on Du’aa from a wellknown amazing sheikh in Houston masha’Allah,if you’d like to check em out, ima post em on my blog soon inshaa’Allaah. they really helped me, and i hope that inshaa;Allaah they can benefit others in some way.
sorry i tallk too much ma3salaaamaaaaa.
Sairah said,
April 28, 2008 at 6:13 pm
Btw, your blog is very pretty. ^^ I don’t know what you were talking about. -_-’
Also, I think (although I can’t remember for 100% sure) that we already covered this topic today at our “crib”.
Abd al Majeed said,
July 28, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Assalamu ‘aleykum,
I know this is an old post, and perhaps this may not be needed anymore… but I thought I’d send you a link from an old thread from IN which helped me big time back in the day…
I actually printed it out and still refer to it sometimes to this very day… may Allah reward those who posted.
http://talk.islamicnetwork.com/printthread.php?t=12183
May Allah accept us all - ameen.
salafiya said,
August 9, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Wa Alaikum Assalam Wa Rahmatullah
Ameen!
jazakAllaahu khairan for that link, I still remember reading it when the thread was recent. It is beneficial mashaAllaah